I’ve never had particularly great posture. I think I walk fairly straight, but I sit rather lazily hunched over. I could blame my old breasts, I suppose, but really I’m sure it mostly has to do with being overweight. Now that I’m allowed to stand straight though, I’m finding it important to try to walk tall. I know doing that will help me to continue to strengthen my core. Even though I’ve been sick with a cold the last few days, I feel remarkably stronger in my core. I can sit up more easily, get in and out of bed more easily, and bend over more easily. This morning I emptied the dishwasher, which required bending and reaching, and I also sat at my desk to do work for about three hours, which required me to use my back and core to sit up straight.
I’ve also realized that some of the pain I have in my abdomen is actually just tightness and irritation from wearing the binder. I only have ten more days of binder wearing – that’s really exciting. I can’t wait to throw these things in the garbage.
Yesterday I had yet another emotional breakdown. I was exhausted from head congestion and I wanted to lay down in bed, but I was also feeling guilty about not being able to take care of my son, who has been very cranky the last few days while he seems to be getting over a cold and possibly getting some new teeth. While I laid down in my bedroom, I could hear him crying in the living room. My husband takes care of him so well, but it makes me feel terrible that I can’t console my baby by picking him up and holding him close. So the two of them came and got in bed with me. My husband talked me through it, and my kiddo snuggled in next to me to watch his cartoons. Last night, my husband put our son on my lap so I could read him his bedtime story like I did pre-surgery; this is something I’ve been missing. Then he put him into his crib.
Lastly, this morning in the shower I decided to try to shave under my arms for the first time since the surgery. If you know anything about Jewish ladies, you know that three weeks of hair growth anywhere is no joke. This turned out to be a mistake though. My armpits are extremely sensitive (I’ve read other women say this post-mastectomy). It’s hard enough to really scrub with soap under there, so I should have known that shaving would be difficult. It’s hard to hold either arm up completely straight (the right arm is worse because of the sentinel node biopsy), and to really hold it back to get the right angle was nearly impossible. The result – I managed to snag a few hairs, but there are definitely remaining patches. I suppose no one but me is looking under there anyway.