Bitty Step Backwards

Well, for all the forward steps I’ve been making, I suppose it’s time for a backwards one. And this isn’t too serious (I don’t think). But I did definitely pull something in my incision. It’s on the left side (opposite of the leaking side) – it is very painful and I can’t really walk now – the skin is pulled very tightly and it looks like there are veins sort of popping out – I can feel something hard under there. I mean, I can walk, but I have to hunch over enough so that I’m not pulling on the incision. The skin looks fine – it’s something underneath there that’s pulling. I spent most of the day in bed except for my doctor’s appt. I might have to do that tomorrow too, although I’m hoping to Skype into a meeting at work. I suppose I could actually do that from bed (ah, the miracles of modern technology). I guess like I said, even though it feels like I’m doing nothing, I’m probably doing too much.

The doctor’s appt at the breast surgeon went well. She said everything looks great and that it is completely normal that I have no pain or soreness in my breasts, but that I do have pain and soreness in my abdominal incision – she says that’s what tends to bother most people. In terms of future surveillance – I just go see her once a year for five years, and then they’ll re-evaluate. No mammos or MRIs. She said any tumor that arises would be at the skin level, so I’d definitely feel it or notice some kind of skin change. I guess it will be nice not to have to do the surveillance, although I’ve become somewhat used to it and I’m not quite sold on the idea of not needing it at all. I just find it hard to believe that there’s not some itty bitty cancer cell that didn’t get scraped away in the whole mess. Sad that this surgery was supposed to ease my mind, but it hasn’t. Perhaps it’ll just take some getting used to.

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