Just like the doctors said, each day does get a little easier. In fact, I really do think this recovery is going to be much quicker than I thought. I’m not in much pain, although it still hurts to laugh or cough (mostly in my chest wall, which is where I feel the most sore, like I was punched in the sternum).
Although I can move around much easier, I still get exhausted quite quickly. This afternoon, I thought I could prepare lunch for my husband and son. I put some stuff in the oven, plated food, and brought it to the table. We ate and I did a bit of the cleanup. After, I went back to the couch and from there I did not move for about five more hours. I just couldn’t – I was so tired just from that little bit of activity.
I also still don’t have full range of motion in my arms, mostly because I feel pulling in my breasts if I reach to high over my head or too far behind me. Despite doctors orders, I have been lifting my son, but only if I’m already sitting. If I’m sitting and he’s standing, then I’m really only sliding him on to my lap. I know I’m not supposed to do this, but I sort of feel like I will die if I don’t. He has been much more affectionate toward me as the days have passed since I’ve been home, and I don’t want to jeopardize that.
Of course, I don’t want to pull a muscle in my chest either. I’ve been reading way too much about that sort of thing – pulled chest muscles needing surgical repair, open hip-hip incisions needing surgical repair, and breast necrosis needing surgical repair. I am terrified of these things, mostly because when I think back on the hospital, I feel completely traumatized. It wasn’t so terrible – I just don’t ever want to go through that again, and when I think about it, I start feeling nauseous and headachy all over again. I’m really thinking that unless my breasts are a total disaster, I might just skip the Phase II surgery. I’m not sure I want to ever go back under anesthesia unless it’s life or death.